If you read the terms of service, you caught a glimpse of the side conversation the Lord had with Moses about terms of service that would one day be placed on websites all over the world. Terms of service weren't the only thing the Lord and Moses talked about. The Lord had Moses write down a template for privacy policies, too.

God: Just because I know EVERYTHING doesn't mean I always have to use that information. We all know I like to let things work themselves out, but when it comes to mortals they get skittish if they think someone is watching them in their bathroom. So make sure that websites tell people how they use the information they collect. More importantly, be sure to let them (i.e. the person reading this) know they need to provide the following information to Followme.org (“FollowMe” or “Site”):
  • your name
  • your email
  • your address
  • your date of birth
  • your telephone number
Moses: What's email?
God: Something people will use in other countries to tell you about great inheritances you've won if you only send them all of your information (which they use in ways that FollowMe doesn't since FollowMe is owned by good guys and gals)
God: Oh, and uh.... Write this down as well: FollowMe receives revenue third party marketing partners and Google AdSense. What can I say? All good things come at a price and the site owners should receive a little geld for their work.

Back to this whole privacy thing .... Tell the people that when they give out their information they are getting their express written consent and explicit permission to receive any and all communications from the website and/or the third parties with whom they have a relationship. And make the user aware that the site will sell and share user information with third parties to make their experience with website all that much more, shall we say, divine. Here's how FollowMe will use the user's information:

  • To enhance or improve user experience, the website, or service
  • To process transactions and sell/transfer exchange to a third party for their marketing purposes WITHOUT consent.
  • To send emails about the site or respond to inquiries
  • To send emails about the website and other products, news, or updates for only your company.
  • To send emails about other third parties products or services

Moses: But God, what if people don't want e-mails and stuff from Followme anymore?
God: The folks at FollowMe will be sad, but the user should provide written notice to unsubscribe from receiving future emails and other content.


Who doesn't like to have a good taste in their mouth? As far as this website goes we want you to have a good taste in your mouth by a sending you some yummy cookies to help us know that you are who you say you are so that your privacy and security can be protected. We promise not to send your computer cookies that are the cyber equivalent of chocolate laxative or anything else that can make your computer sick. We want to keep God's command to treat our neighbors with respect.

We may also use cookies to measure our success and direct you toward third parties that we feel you will find beneficial.

Third-Party Maintenance and Service Providers

We may use a third-party for hosting our website or other purposes related to keep this site up and running and not demon possessed. That means whatever little secrets you tell us will be shared with that third-party. By consenting to give us certain information outlined above, that means you're also giving any third party with whom we contract the same information you gave us. Additionally, we have no control over what's third-party service providers do or don't do. That means we can control a third-party from sending you e-mail offers or other content that you may or may not like. Things such as: The Donut Diet - the only God approved diet that's just a sweet as any gospel message you ever heard. No, we can't control that. Nor do we have control over the links provided by third parties. If you do use a third-party link, make sure you read over that site's terms of service and privacy policy.

Legal Purposes

If for some reason there is a need to share the information you gave to us with law enforcement officials, who are acting in good faith, to carry out an investigation regarding a criminal or civil matter, be advised that we may share that information without your consent because you're a gave us permission to give your information to third parties.

California Online Privacy Protection Act

Because California is a special place, we like to draw attention to how special it is because we comply with all the privacy legislation California has to offer. We do that because we know Californians love to surf - in the water or on the web - and we do we can to make sure our users California surf safely....online at least.

Children's Privacy Protection

We want to know if your five-year-old or anyone else who is a minor is using our website because we have an obligation to protect children. Yes we want to protect all God's children, but we especially want to protect those who have reached the age of majority in accordance with the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA). Not to mention we don't want the Cop-pa's coming to our doorstep and hauling us off to jail. So please help us keep your kids safe. Make sure they eat right, get enough exercise, tell them not put their sticky fingers on a computer keyboard after eating a grape jelly sandwich, and not to visit websites without you surfing the web with them.


Come back to this page often because there might be changes to the privacy policy. If you do not find yourself agreeing with the terms of this privacy policy, you'll need to notify us in writing that you don't agree with the terms of this privacy policy. As a result, your account will be turned off, disabled, and your access to this site will blocked and you won't be able to come back unless you agree to the terms of this privacy policy. In the event you decide to come back, you won't be required to do penance, but a plate of cookies and a pound of fudge will do nicely.


Where two or more provisions in this Privacy Policy conflict, we reserve the sole right to determine which provision shall remain in force.


Should any court, magistrate, state or federal legislature, or supreme ruler of all the universe who claims to be God, but isn't God, render any part of this privacy policy void or strike it down like David did to Goliath, the rest of this Privacy Policy shall remain in force as though it had been entered into without that voided provision.


Any queries about this Privacy Policy may be directed to webmaster (at)FollowMe (dot) org